jokes cont...

[BAD BULLZ]

Sitting together on a train, travelling through the Swiss Alps, were a Kiwi
guy, an Australian bloke, a little old Greek lady, and a young blonde Swiss
girl with large breasts.The Train goes into a dark tunnel and a few seconds
later there is the sound of a loud slap.When the train emerges from the
tunnel, the Kiwi has a bright red hand print on his cheek. No one
speaks.The old lady thinks: The Kiwi guy must have groped the blonde in the
dark, and she slapped his cheek.The blonde Swiss girl thinks: That Kiwi guy
must have tried to grope me in the dark, but missed and fondled the old
lady and she slapped his cheek.The Kiwi thinks: The Australian bloke must
have groped the blonde in the dark. She tried to slap him but missed and
got me instead.The Australian thinks: I can't wait for another tunnel, just
so I can smack the Kiwi again.  ;D


Jim and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day While they were
walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep
end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Edna promptly
jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out.When the
director of Nursing became aware of Edna's heroic act, she considered her
to be mentally stable.When she went to tell Edna the news she said, 'Edna,
I have good news and bad news.The good news is you're being discharged;
since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and
saving the life of another patient, I have concluded that your act displays
sound mindedness.The bad news is that Jim, the patient you saved, hung
himself in his bathroom with the belt to his robe right after you saved
him. I am sorry, but he's dead.'Edna replied, 'He didn't hang himself, I
put him there to dry ........ How soon can I go
home?' 

 

[fish]

3 blokes are holding Andy Harper down,they give him a dice and tell him if you  roll 1,2,3,4,5 your flogged.He asks what if I roll 6?They reply,you get another go

 

[~Floss~]

3 blokes are holding Andy Harper down,they give him a dice and tell him if you  roll 1,2,3,4,5 your flogged.He asks what if I roll 6?They reply,you get another go

If this happens, can I be one of the three?

 

[Hagar the Horrible]

Ernie Merrick was worried about the low intelligence of the Victory players, and made them sit an exam. If they failed, they would be suspended from the next weekend's game. The exam was fill-in-the-blank.

The last question read, "Old MacDonald had a ________."
Archie Thompson was stumped. He had no idea what to answer. But he knew he needed to get this one right to be sure he passed.
Making sure Merrick wasn't watching, he tapped Kevin Muscat on the shoulder. "Pssst. Kev. What's the answer to the last question?"
Muscat laughed. He looked around to make sure the coach hadn't noticed then he turned to Archie. "You're so stupid. Everyone knows Old MacDonald had a FARM."
"Oh yeah," said Archie. "I remember now."

He picked up his pencil and started to write the answer in the blank. He stopped. Tapping Muscat's shoulder again, he whispered, "Musko, how do you spell farm?"
"You are really a 'tard, Archie. That's so easy. Farm is spelled E-I-E-I-O."