Bear
Well-Known Member
:-\ Found this on football365.com, all I can say is, hmmm...............
The Secret Flamin` Diary Of Harry K
Monday
Champions League is just around the corner, so I woke up with that strange tingling feeling in my bones. At first I thought it was the gout coming back, so I went to see the Doc. He's a great mate. Doc gave me a funny look and said I was a hypo-flamin'-chondriac.
I didn't flamin' know what one of them was, so texted my great mate Warney. He texted me back asking what kind of underwear I was wearing. Strewth! He's back on the old VB's again!
Tuesday
Security man stopped me getting into Anfield today - said he had no flamin' idea who I was! Luckily he's a big Emmerdale fan so I mentioned my sheila Sheree. I reckon he's just havin' a laugh with the flamin' Aussie! He's a great mate really.
Anyhow, I found Stevie G and told him I was worried about having all my gear nicked when I go to Moscow. He just laughed and said that it wouldn't be a problem. He's a great bloke. Small forehead though.
My flamin' ear ached a bit, so went back to see the Doc. Couldn't find him. I could have flamin' swore I heard him when I knocked on the door. Bludger!
Wednesday
Dumped me Midnight Oil 'Beds are Burning' original 7 inch with my great mate Tim Cahill for safekeeping for when I go to flamin' Russia. After all, it's not as if he's going anywhere soon! He didn't seem too stoked when I told him that and reminded me where his brother lived now via the medium of mime. Great bloke though.
Went to see the boss. Walked into the office and he also asked who I flamin' was. Must have been planning this with the security guard! Flamin' mongrels!
Asked him if he needed my passport photo for the visa for Russia as everyone else has had to hand them over. He said that he already had everything he needed. What a great bloke!
My tummy felt a bit weird - last time I eat croc's feet for brekkie - so went to find the Doc. He told me that he would flamin' kill me if he ever saw me again.
That's what so flamin' great about Liverpool: The banter.
Thursday
My great mate Andy Vorinin came to see me today. He asked me how I managed to give it 110% in every one of the seven minutes I've played this season.
I told him I got my flamin' inspiration from John Farnham. "We're not gonna sit silence, we're not gonna live in fear," I yelled at him.
He just gave me one of those weird looks. Great mate though. And looks a bit like some rough old Sheila I copped off with a few years back in Woollagong.
My toenail hurt a bit so went looking for the Doc. Found him the dunny crying like a big Sheila. Strewth!
Friday
Flamin' firemen at the club today. My great mate Jamie Carragher got his hand stuck in the photo machine. Again. There for four flamin' hours before they could get it out, the great galah.
I told him that the boss said he didn't need my flamin' photo. He said he thought that might be the case. Strewth, who could ask for a better bunch of mates!
The Secret Flamin` Diary Of Harry K
Monday
Champions League is just around the corner, so I woke up with that strange tingling feeling in my bones. At first I thought it was the gout coming back, so I went to see the Doc. He's a great mate. Doc gave me a funny look and said I was a hypo-flamin'-chondriac.
I didn't flamin' know what one of them was, so texted my great mate Warney. He texted me back asking what kind of underwear I was wearing. Strewth! He's back on the old VB's again!
Tuesday
Security man stopped me getting into Anfield today - said he had no flamin' idea who I was! Luckily he's a big Emmerdale fan so I mentioned my sheila Sheree. I reckon he's just havin' a laugh with the flamin' Aussie! He's a great mate really.
Anyhow, I found Stevie G and told him I was worried about having all my gear nicked when I go to Moscow. He just laughed and said that it wouldn't be a problem. He's a great bloke. Small forehead though.
My flamin' ear ached a bit, so went back to see the Doc. Couldn't find him. I could have flamin' swore I heard him when I knocked on the door. Bludger!
Wednesday
Dumped me Midnight Oil 'Beds are Burning' original 7 inch with my great mate Tim Cahill for safekeeping for when I go to flamin' Russia. After all, it's not as if he's going anywhere soon! He didn't seem too stoked when I told him that and reminded me where his brother lived now via the medium of mime. Great bloke though.
Went to see the boss. Walked into the office and he also asked who I flamin' was. Must have been planning this with the security guard! Flamin' mongrels!
Asked him if he needed my passport photo for the visa for Russia as everyone else has had to hand them over. He said that he already had everything he needed. What a great bloke!
My tummy felt a bit weird - last time I eat croc's feet for brekkie - so went to find the Doc. He told me that he would flamin' kill me if he ever saw me again.
That's what so flamin' great about Liverpool: The banter.
Thursday
My great mate Andy Vorinin came to see me today. He asked me how I managed to give it 110% in every one of the seven minutes I've played this season.
I told him I got my flamin' inspiration from John Farnham. "We're not gonna sit silence, we're not gonna live in fear," I yelled at him.
He just gave me one of those weird looks. Great mate though. And looks a bit like some rough old Sheila I copped off with a few years back in Woollagong.
My toenail hurt a bit so went looking for the Doc. Found him the dunny crying like a big Sheila. Strewth!
Friday
Flamin' firemen at the club today. My great mate Jamie Carragher got his hand stuck in the photo machine. Again. There for four flamin' hours before they could get it out, the great galah.
I told him that the boss said he didn't need my flamin' photo. He said he thought that might be the case. Strewth, who could ask for a better bunch of mates!
