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Jokes

midfielder

Well-Known Member
An old Greek man and an old Italian man are arguing.

The Greek man says "Look, all I'm saying is that the Greeks invented everything the Romans get credit for!"

The Italian says "Yes, may be, but the Romans improved it and made it useful!"

The Greek man says "We invented the Democracy!"

The Italian says "We realized the challenge of direct elections and the benefit of the legislature, and thus created the Republic!"

The Greek man says "Yes, but we created beautiful architecture like the Parthenon!"

The Italian says "And we improved your building techniques, and used them to create aqueducts and structures that stood for centuries longer!"

The Greek man, frustrated, finally says "Ah, of course. But the Greeks, we INVENTED sex!"

The Italian man says "That may be true, but we introduced it to women."
 

midfielder

Well-Known Member
80, 000 blondes go to a Football stadium

For a Blondes are not Stupid convention.

At the front of the 80, 000 blondes is a stage.

World media is there it all be filmed.

The announcer says we need to prove to the world Blondes are not stupid

We need a volunteer.

This brave Blonde walks thu all the other Blondes and volunteers

The guy on the stage says thank you and for your test.

Whats 15 + 15 equal too.

The blond thinks for about 40 seconds and says 18.

The announcer looks down as if the grand experiment has failed.

Suddenly a surge in the crowd as the crowds chants

Give her another chance, Give her another chance..

Against his best instincts the announcer says Ok

The announcer then says

Whats 10 + 10 equal too.

The blond thinks for about a minute and says 95.

The poor announcer looks totally defeated

But again the crowd chants

Give her another chance, give her another chance.

OK OK OK says the announcer

What is 2 + 2 equal too.

The Blond thinks and thinks and after two minutes say 4.

The crowd erupts, cheers, clapping, screams...

Then the chat goes up

Give her another chance, give her another chance.
 

VicMariner

Well-Known Member
A blonde lady motorist was about two hours from Sydney when she was flagged down by a man whose truck had broken down.
The man walked up to the car and asked, "Are you going to Sydney?"
"Sure," answered the blonde, "do you need a lift?"
"Not for me. I'll be spending the next three hours fixing my truck. My problem is I've got two chimpanzees in the back that have to be taken to the Taronga Zoo. They're a bit stressed already so I don't want to keep them on the road all day. Could you possibly take them to the Taronga Zoo for me? I'll give you $200 for your trouble”.
"I'd be happy to," said the blonde.
So the two chimpanzees were ushered into the back seat of the blonde's car and carefully strapped into their seat belts, and off they went.
Five hours later, the truck driver was driving through the heart of Sydney when suddenly he was horrified!
There was the blonde walking down the street, holding hands with the two chimps, much to the amusement of a big crowd.
With a screech of brakes, he pulled off the road and ran over to the blonde.
"What are you doing here?" he demanded, "I gave you $200 to take these chimpanzees to the zoo!"
"Yes, I know you did," said the blonde. "But we had money left over so now we're going to Sea World."
 

midfielder

Well-Known Member
A man walks in to a bar sits down and places a large bag on the floor. He opens the bag and out walks a little man no bigger than a foot tall. He heads towards the pub piano, climbs up on to the piano stool and starts playing classical music.

The bar man asked the customer “what’s going on here mate? Where did you get that little fellow”?

The customer says “there is a genie outside your door, he gave him to me. If you hurry you might be able to catch him”.

The barman runs out of the pub to find the genie. A minute later there is a hell of a commotion and thousands of ducks quacking all over the street.

The barman runs back in to the pub and says “you didn’t tell me he was a bit deaf. I asked for a million bucks not ducks.

The customer says “ you don’t think I asked for a 12” pianist do you”?
 

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